Celebrating His 2nd Birthday Since His Passing
Last week was my father’s 2nd birthday since his passing. My father passed away less than six weeks before what would have been his 70th birthday, so this past week would have marked his 71st birthday. Not wanting the day to go by unnoticed, Mom and I called up some close friends of ours and took them out to lunch to celebrate my father’s birthday. We talked about him and laughed about some of the memories. Did my father know we remembered him and wished him a happy birthday? I like to think so, but does it truly matter? It is meant more for those of us who are left behind here on Earth, those who are grieving, than it is for those who have passed. There is something touchingly therapeutic about recognizing them just as you would before they passed.
If you have lost someone you love, the hardest days can be those birthday and anniversaries. Find some ways to help with the grieving. My mother and I planned and chose going to one of my father’s favored restaurants with close friends of his and my mother’s. It is something that we would have done for my father if he were still with us and I think that is one of the best ways to celebrate. Treat the day as if he or she were still here.
It is said that writing in a journal or composing a letter to your loved one who has passed is a beautiful way to remember them. I have taken that a few steps further by developing this tribute site to my father and continue to work hard maintaining it. I find it healing and I also think it helps others whose lives were touched by my father through his game designs, friendships and generosity towards others.
Helping Yourself Heal by Helping Others
Another way to celebrate special days of those we have lost is to do random acts of kindness. Doing something good for others helps you to feel better about yourself and the losses you have suffered. Look around and discover a way you can be of assistance to others. I was at the grocery store, and I typically do this without even thinking, but this week I made a point to look closely at people around me while I was shopping for food and saw one lady in a scooter who was reaching from your mobile wheelchair for something on a higher shelf. I walked over to her and asked her if I could get something for her, she was very appreciative, told me what she wanted and I picked it up off the shelf and handed it to her.
If you are hurting because you have lost someone recently and it is a special birthday or anniversary, help yourself heal by helping others. Thank you for reading this post. For more information about John Hill and his accomplishments, you may visit the about page.
I really like that celebrating your dads passing isn’t the only thing you celebrate. Celebrating his birthday is just as, if not more important than that. If it wasn’t for his birthday in coming into this world he would not have accomplished all that he did. He would not have touched the lives of all those that loved him or call him friend.
It’s good to see that you celebrate both. What a wonderful post.
Hi Debra:
Thanks for your visiting again today and commenting on this post. We try to celebrate the special days as well as his overall accomplishments. Thank you!
Stephanie
Happy Birthday John, we are thinking of you and all the great times you allowed us to have. People come and go, but the games live on.
Hi Again PJ:
Thanks for the uplifting comment. I am glad to see those who knew my father personally as you did leave comments. You are right about his ACW wargames – they will live on forever. Always enjoy hearing from you.
Steph
Hi Stephanie,
It is so tough when we loose a loved one isn’t it? I remember losing my father when I was in my early thirties. The morning dragged on for such a long time. I sympathize with you. It definitely is good therapy to do a kind deed while in pain. It always brings a feeling of happiness to one’s heart when doing an act of kindness.
Julie
Thank you Julie. And yes, it does bring happiness to the heart to do something good for other people. Have a terrific day and please visit again soon.
Stephanie
My condolences Stephanie, and I do believe it’s a good thing to remember John by celebrating his birthday.
I guess losing someone we love is something we all have to go through and I don’t want to be getting philosophical about it, but having been there, I just think that the bigger the love the more the pain – and for me – it was worth the pain to experience the love.
Thanks for sharing.
Eoin
Hi Eoin:
Thank you for your comment on my father’s tribute site. My father, John, was deeply loved by many people. Have a wonderful day!
Stephanie
Hi Stephanie
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. I dread the day one of my parents pass away! I think doing something to mark his birthday and remember him is lovely.
Hi Lynne:
Thank you for your kind words. I truly appreciate them. I am glad you think the idea of marking my father’s birthday with a special post is a lovely and touching idea. Please feel free to visit again soon.
Sincerely
Stephanie
hello there. Very touching site… Happy birthday for your dad… and i am sorry you los him . I think you miss him a lot. great site though.. very inspiring and touching .
Thank you Cristina for your comment and your very kind compliment on my father’s tribute site.
You have put together some lovely ideas that anyone can use. One idea that I personally use often is just to scan a random area on the street, pick out a few people who I think might appreciate some financial help and then walk across and push a few notes into their hand. It works very well, is completely random and the receiver is usually very appreciative. Another idea is to offer to buy a meal to a homeless person or donate a box of donuts to a beggar on the street.
Hi Shaz:
I like your idea of scanning the street to see who could use some financial help. And I like the idea of buying a meal for a beggar on the street. I have done that myself. As I was going into a local hamburger shop, there was a homeless man sitting on the sidewalk and he asked me for money. I told him I would go into the hamburger joint and buy him a meal which I did and when I came out, he was very grateful. I think perhaps he thought I would have forgotten about him, but I did not.
Thank you Shaz for sharing. Much appreciative.
Stephanie
Stephanie, I know you must still be grieving after your loss. It is hard to lose someone dear and I can relate that anniversaries are especially tough. It looks like he was a very interesting and active man too.
I think journaling is a great way to remember and let go of grief. I made a photo memory of my book for my family after my mother passed. I wish you all the best.
Know that he is still with you in many ways. I believe they keep an eye on us and watch out for us from above.
Hi Julie:
I like your idea of doing a photo memory book for your family after losing your mother. I created a PowerPoint slideshow to play at my father’s services. It was a huge PPT presentation and can be viewed by visiting the additional links page. Journaling is a another great idea.
Thank you for visiting and leaving a really nice comment. Have a terrific day!
Stephanie
Your dad seems like a very interesting person. You post is full of memories. You probably miss him so much. I just want to say that this is very inspiring and I hope that you continue this. And Happy Birthday to your dad!
Thank you Von for the kind birthday wishes. I appreciate them. Have a wonderful day!
This is a really good idea. I try to do a dinner with my family and friends when the anniversary of a loved ones death comes around. Another nice thing I haven’t been able to do in a while is go and visit the burial site (if they’re buried).
I’m sorry for your loss, but I’m glad you have found healthy and healing ways to remember your father! Thanks for sharing and reminding me I can do the same when I’m missing someone (it doesn’t even have to be a day of importance).
Hi Erika:
Thank you for visiting. I appreciate the kind sympathies. You are right when you say it does not need to be a day of importance. And, actually, my father was not buried. He wanted to be cremated so we have his urn which is nice. It sits where the fireplace is so we can always remember him.
Sincerely
Stephanie